How to Feel Calm on Your Wedding Day — Advice From a Photographer Who's Also a Speech-Language Pathologist

Wedding day nerves are not a problem to fix. They are proof that this matters to you.

But there is a difference between the good kind of butterflies — the ones that make you feel alive and present and electric — and the kind of anxiety that follows you through the day and shows up in your photos.

After years working as a speech-language pathologist, where managing nervous energy and creating calm in high-stakes moments was literally part of my job description, and after photographing many couples on one of the most emotionally charged days of their lives, I have learned a few things that actually help.

Give yourself more time than you think you need

The number one cause of wedding day anxiety is running behind schedule. Everything cascades — you're rushing through hair and makeup, you skip eating, you arrive at the ceremony already depleted. Build thirty extra minutes into every transition in your day. You almost certainly won't need it. But if you do, it will save you.

Eat something real before your ceremony

I say this with love: the number of couples who forget to eat on their wedding day is staggering. Your nervous system cannot regulate itself without fuel. Have a proper meal or at minimum a substantial snack before you arrive at your ceremony. Everything — your mood, your presence, the way your face looks in photos — is better when you're not running on empty.

Give yourself a private moment together before portraits begin

If your schedule allows it, I love to build in five to ten minutes for just the two of you before we begin portraits — no guests, no vendors, no to-do list. Just you, together, breathing. It resets everything. The photos that follow are always different. Better. More real.

Know that looking at the camera is the hardest part — and we won't do much of it

Most people's anxiety about being photographed comes from the fear of being stared at and judged. I want you to know that the vast majority of the images I make involve you looking at each other, at the view, at your own hands, at something funny I said. Looking directly into the lens is a small fraction of our time together. You don't need to perform. You just need to show up.

Trust your preparation and let the day happen

At some point on your wedding day, you have to put down the checklist and simply be there. Everything that can be planned has been planned. Everything else is the actual wedding — the unexpected moments, the tears that surprised you, the laugh that came from nowhere. Those are the moments that become your favorite photos.

My job is to hold the space so you can be fully present. That is what I am there for.

If you're someone who worries about feeling comfortable in front of a camera — I promise, you are exactly who I work best with.